Coronavirus diary: "Making an artificial respirator with a reverse vacuum cleaner is possible!", in the blogiblag of 04/01/20 (LJ©2020).

If the idea is french, the realization will be german: a German consortium leader in the manufacture of vacuum cleaners (Rowenta, Miele and Bosch) will soon manufacture several thousand artificial respirators per day! This is what I wanted to announce for the first time, like spring through the window.

No, you are not dreaming and this is not a joke, especially since we are already on April 2 in France. The idea germinated in the mind of a french unemployed person: "A reverse vacuum cleaner can completely be used as an artificial respirator in the intensive care units". Immediately, he made it happen by reversing the airflow from his Miele vacuum cleaner, but the air flow was too strong and he almost died of pneumonia. He explains:

_ The principle of the vacuum cleaner is exactly the same as that of the respirator, in a very compact format. So I simply reversed the air flow but I had to control its power... For this, I had the idea of ​​using a regulator and an intake valve that I borrowed from my old stove. The result is fantastic: a regular breath of air allows you to breathe under a mask!

Then, our little national genius sent the diagram of his equipment to all the major brands of vacuum cleaners, without getting an answer. Why? Maybe they didn't take it seriously. Disappointed, he then contacted Miele's after-sales service on March 20 to propose his project. And it wasn't until March 27 that an engineer from Miele called him to thank him for "his brilliant idea."

Since then, the affair has caused a stir and Angela Merkel has brought together all the German-based builders to consider the feasibility of the project. And so it was that on April 1, our German friends created this new consortium to manufacture in their factories, with minimal modifications, "light and portable respirators". We bet that they will be able to complete this project in record time. At the express request of Boris Johnson, Dyson could join forces to supply the United Kingdom and the United States of America at the same time. Donald Trump, on the verge of depression, happily tweeted:

_ It would be fantastic, we are running out of respirators!

Emmanuel Macron decided to requisition all the vacuum cleaners in advance:

_If you don't have much use, offer your vacuum cleaner to FNAC/DARTY. In exchange, you will receive a shovel and a broom.

Like what, despite our differences, cooperation is working. But voices are already opposing it in France: Jean-Luc Mélanchon and Marine Le Pen are crying out for scandal. Merde in France.